community

I'm a big fan of the Belgrade Lakes Region, not because of the lakes and summer tourists, but the feeling of community through out the area. Today was the 5k race for the Belgrade Public Library and there wasn't a huge turnout for the event, but members of the community of all ages came out to support the new library that is going to be built. Everyone knew each other in some aspect, and was ready to support each other through out the race which made for a high-energy and exciting morning.

There's also another feeling of community at events like these; the running community. Some people are bonded through blood, experiences or places, but I'm beginning to learn that runners have a common bond too. You can see it at the starting line, when runner's go out holding hands; you can see it during the race, when someone passes you and pulls you along at their pace, but it’s always the finish line where this community is most apparent to me; the cheering fans, mom's reaching out for high fives down the chute, and runners who have already finished, running along side the next finishers. The pride of the runner, as they cross the finish line is shared equally among those watching, celebrating their accomplishments, through their shared love of running.

I'm scared that next fall, being somewhere new, I'll lose this feeling of community that I love so much about being home. Clark was such a hiatus in this feeling, being home for the summer has reminded me how much I thrive off constantly seeing familiar faces. I have faith though, that there are communities, like the running community, that will stay with me, wherever I go.

1-2-3

1) I still hate my job, but I still have a job, thus I should not complain.

2) The weather has been usually warm, making me hate my job more because I haven't been to the beach yet.

3) Three days until 5K race in Belgrade. I've been running a bit less this week but between a pace workout earlier this week, and a longer-ish run today, Saturday shouldn't go half badly, but the ultimate goal is really just to finish :)

Ciao!

free

todays run, in one word could be defined as free, free of obligations, free of a plan and free of connections.

As I was heading out this morning, I grabbed my iPod, only to find it uncharged. I was pumped for my run, so regardless, I headed out. It was weird running without anything at all, I almost felt naked. I usually have the contents of a small purse tucked inside my sports bra, ranging from cell phone, ID, keys, iPod and even sometimes chapstick and gum.

If Briana was describing this, she would say that I was very "one with nature," being all disconnected from the world, and listening to the birds and the lake and such. In part, I would have to agree. There weren't any roses along my run for me to stop and smell, but I did stop once. There's only one huge hill in my run, mostly longer than actually steep, and unfortunately, I have to go down it at the very beginning, and and up it at the very end. The hill itself it not a safe place to run, as it curves as goes down into town. When driving down the hill, there is no time to stop and look at the view of the lake from above, as all attention must be on the road.

Today it was different, even though I've run down the hill many times, driven down it thousands more, today, without my iPod to focus on, I was able to look around, and appreciate the view. I do have to give some credit to the Swartz family, as most of it is their property, and they are well deserving of the 'best landscaped yard in town award' that they have previously won. As for my decisions for running, training for a certain race, and risking myself for arthritis, I don't need to decide now, I don't need to decide ever. I think I'm just going to embrace the theme of today's run. I'm just going to run, free of obligation, free of a plan, but always enjoying the view.

it's not called gym-nice-tics

Since my visit with Dr. Golden last Thursday, I haven't exactly gone running. My weekend was filled with a trip to Manchester, NH for the Northeast YMCA Regional Gymnastics Meet with the Decal girls. It was a long weekend, Luckily I was the go-to person to run errands, so I did spend a fair amount of time away from the whiny girls, annoyed coaches, and repetitive floor music, and instead driving (and getting lost) around Manchester grabbing anything from ice coffee to princess crowns. Either way, there was little time for eating or sleeping, let alone running!

Despite my lack of running, I registered for 5k today. It's a little less than two weeks away in the next town over, so I shall resume my running endeavors tomorrow morning at 6am. Regardless of that, in the running realm, Kayla and I are currently trying to set up a conference call with Vanessa, our go-to person at the Steps Foundation, to discuss becoming Regional Steps Chapter Coordinators! This is all coinciding with the official beginning of my summer classes tomorrow, even though I've been doing some reading the past few days in an attempt to get ahead.

Tomorrow is Tuesday, and oddly enough, equally as busy as Tuesdays at Clark! Tomorrow brings a morning run, focused on pace, homework/reading as well as real work and Pad Thai with the girls <3

set back

Can you get worker's comp for sitting in an uncomfortable chair? I would love more than to have MGTA pay for a back massage. For the last three days and approximately an hour and a half of today, I have been sitting in a hard wicker chair, facing a bookcase, attempting to type on the computer on top of the bookcase. There is no where for my legs to go, so today, I traded in my jeans for my favorite victoria's secret sweatpants in order to effectively curl up in this chair and try to work. Good thing there isn't much work for me to do, mostly because it's just not comfortable, but so I can do valuable things like update my blog, and read my email.

Anyways, today was the big day, my doctors appointment with Dr. Golden, my surgeon. We talked about my approved activities and my current strength. He says my leg and knee looks good, really good. I asked him about the running, and being an orthopedic doctor, he obviously doesn't support the stress that running puts on your knees.

He made a nice analogy for me. He said that if I had a million dollars to 'pay' for exercise, and that's all the money I had for the rest of my life, different activities would cost different things. He said that swimming was free, biking was pretty inexpensive, but running was expensive. I wouldn't be able to run as much as biking before giving in to knee pain and early on set arthritis. Ultimately, a little running is fine, mostly on tracks and flat roads, probably not the breakdown lanes I'm forced into sometimes while running around Oakland. When it comes down to it, it's my body, and the more I run, the earlier I'll feel pain in my knees.

He said it would be easy for me to stop running now, because I haven't been a runner my whole life. I disagree. While I haven't been a runner my whole life, I have been an athlete, and there isn't much in the world that can replace the feeling of being an athlete. Last February when that feeling was taken away from me, it was horrendous, emotional and one of the most difficult thing I have ever been through. When it happened again in September, it was equally as disappointing. I tried to look at is as a set back, knowing that a set back is only a set up for a comeback. When I started running, I was able to feel like an athlete again. I may not be able to tumble, play soccer, or fully play tennis right now, but I can run. It's going to take a lot more than a threat of arthritis to make me stop running.

As soon as he left the room, I told my mom that he said it's my body, so I'll do what I want. Somehow, she knew that was going to be the case. She kindly reminded me that the third ACL surgery will be on me, something that probably has made me a bit more cautious about my activities.

Today's appointment was a bit discouraging, especially because I had just come in from a great run. Regardless, I don't think that this will stop me. I will however take it a bit slower, skip that half marathon in July, and savor my miles. Enjoy them while I can, enjoy being an athlete and enjoy being a runner.

chasing

today was an off day. a really off day.

I was planning on getting up at 6 and getting my run in before work at 8. I somehow failed to set my alarm, or wake up to it (this is a bit unclear) and Mom ended up waking me up at 7:25. I barely had time to shower and eat before leaving for work, let alone fit in a three miler. I had already made plans for after work, and to make dinner for the family tonight, so any hopes of a run would have to be after dinner. In addition to starting off my day way later than expected, I had a horrible day at work, adjusting to a whole year of changes since I was last there, so much so that I don't even feel like I'm doing anything productive, which annoys the shit out of me.

As for running, on a whim, I invited my sister to run with me, warning her that I don't run fast. She agreed to join, and after dinner we headed out. From the first steps out of the driveway, she was one pace ahead of me. As she took off up the first hill, I realized that this was very representative of our lives; me, chasing after my older sister. There was seldom a time when I wasn't considered, "Kayla's little sister," and I was constantly reminded of her significant accomplishments, terrific work ethic, and shining personality. In her defense, these things are all very true, and I do admire her, but there were days when I was ready to be Nicole, and thought of as just that, instead of being constantly reminded of my sister's achievements.

Running after her today was obviously motivation to continue running, as to not fall behind, and it was very much the same way through school, I was afraid of falling behind, and not being able to be myself in her straight-A shadow. There was one point in our run where she waited for me, and I presented her with two options, to run with me, or to not run with me, but to stop running a few paces ahead. She choose, in that moment, to run with me.

I wondered if there was never a point in my life where I would have able to present, like I did to my sister, but to my teachers, my coaches, or my parents, that they had two options, to think of me as my own person, or to not think of me at all? I don't really know what the second option would have been, but I never had a moment, where I told anyone how I felt, about the shadow that she created over me, but I do know exactly how they would have reacted.

They would have denied it.

I'm sure my sister will deny it now too, and deny the fact that even though she said she was going to run with me, she still was able to keep her feet a few paces ahead of mine. I had to remind her, that on the last hill she wasn't allowed to leave me behind.

That's how I know she's a good sister though. She didn't leave me behind. She ran with me, up the last hill. And she even let me sprint to the driveway, into the house, and finish first. That's how I know she's a fabulous sister.

home sweet home

After a few setbacks with Sharpay, a disastrous Spanish final, and no more tearful goodbyes, I've made it back to Oakland. My room looks like a tornado hit it, I have a to-do list a mile long, but surprisingly, none of it is stressing me out.

Even though it was a bit rainy this morning, and only 40° when I left the house, I decided to go for a run. It was fabulous to run here, I'm pretty confident I won't get picked up on the side of the road, no traffic lights to wait for, and very few cars to run you off the road, or honk/catcall on their way by.

I remember during my first week at Clark, someone honked at us on our way to dinner. I waved to them, and immediately people were jumping on me, asking why I was waving. In Maine, people only honk at you if they know you, so I just assumed that the person driving through Clark was someone I knew.... Today I only got honked at once, but it was someone I graduated high school with :)

Tomorrow is Sunday, my unofficial day off, and then my wondrous training plan, as well as my job at the Maine Golf and Tennis Academy begins, bring on the slave labor!

español, ¡Aye Aye Aye!

Today is officially my last day in Worcester.

I'm mostly excited to leave, nervous for my Spanish final in...4.5 hours, anxious to be home, but dreading unpacking everything this weekend. A lot of emotions, but clearly, no sadness today, not yet anyways.

I did lucky loop round two today, but stuck with the same wrong turn I took yesterday, mostly because I liked how the second half was mostly downhill. I added on an extra loop at the beginning to increase the mileage a little.

Last night I found a training plan which I think I can stick to. Lots of 3 mile, tempo runs, and interval trainings, mixed with weekend long runs and Monday strength. I decided I'll stick to this half marathon training plan until I see the doctor, and I can always scale back or make adjustments if I need to!

I am now going to dedicate the next three hours (and when I say three hours, I mean tres horas) to studying for my Spanish final. ¡Deséeme suerte!

lucky loop?

Last night in between unloading my things at 148 West, and eating everything under the sun, Josh and Scott (two of my favorite WPI track team members) showed me a 3.15 mile loop that they run, called Lucky Loop. Josh explained it as being a simple route, not many lefts and rights, but Scott had it stored online, so he pulled up a map. They somehow convinced me that it wasn't as complicated as the map made it seem, I just had to take all the left hand turns. I usually have a good sense of direction, so I figured I would be all set!

I headed out this morning around 7:30 because my internal alarm clock is permanently set to 7:05. My biggest concern was taking a wrong turn and ending up miles from campus, stuck running a longer route than I originally wanted. I did get lost, but I ended up running a bit less than the real Lucky Loop, I just took a left turn too soon. I only ended up cutting half a mile off, so not the worst turn I could have made!

Happy Thursday!

this is it.

All that remains in my dorm room is my laptop, car key, cell phone, a sweatshirt, and a half eaten brownie.

The brownie will soon be gone, along with the other things. Kayla and I decided to move out together, even though I'll still be in Worcester until Friday. The thought of living here for the next two days, in an empty room is a bit too much for me to handle, so I'm moving in with my sister until my Spanish final at the end of the week. Today has surprisingly brought no tears, but I'm sure once we lock Dobby for the final time in less than an hour, that there will be plenty between the two of us. It's been an emotional year, that's for sure, but it's nice to make things full circle, I've cried just as much in the last few days as I did during Week One, but for very different reasons. It's hard to imagine that tomorrow morning I won't be able to drink powerade for breakfast, meet in the mail room for lunch, and swipe in with the baseball team for 5 o'clock dinner with Kayla. It really is the little things that I will miss, but I am assured by the fact that our 5-year plan includes meeting again to run the Boston Marathon, as well as live together in an old victorian house, with our crazy husbands.



I haven't been running the past few days, mostly because we've been relaxing, and I'm resting the nagging pains in my ankle and knee. I have high hopes that tomorrow my legs will feel ready to run. I'm going to wish away the pains because Saturday, my first morning at home, I will start my running plan. I have yet to determine what this plan is, how long I'll be able to stick to it, and what exactly I'm training for...but for now, all I know is that this is goodbye..to Dobby 212 <3

speed.

It's been decided, I need to start running faster.

I ditched the fitness center after about 5 minutes in favor of running outside in the humidity. I brought my water with me, and with the wind it wasn't that bad. My ankle has been bothering me, enough for Kayla to be worried about it, but I've learned how to ignore it while running, probably not the best idea. Outside I did my usual weaving around Clark campus, running from the kids getting out of school, and creepy men walking their dogs, but not running fast at all, taking my time. I'm unsure what it's going to take to make me run faster, but I need to find out soon.

Before my run, I filled out the registration for the half marathon in Oakland. I decided that I would fill it out, but not mail it yet, so it's currently sitting on my desk. Essentially, I'm waiting for three things.

1) I see my surgeon the Thursday after next, and ultimately I need to get his approval to be running upwards of 10 miles on the reg, especially at my six month point.

2) I'm going to call the woman in charge, and see at what point I can change my registration from the half, to the 5k on the same day. This is also dependent on what my surgeon says.

3) And lastly, my own motivation and training. Unfortunately enough, the t-shirt is not always enough to make me go running. I want to wait until I get home, and see how my running schedule goes.

yipeeeeee!

i knew the sun would come out

I just got back from my LAST visit of physical therapy here in Worcester, and hopefully my last visit to ANY physical therapy in my life. It was a bit bittersweet, I've come to love the ladies, and today's visit was no exception. I did feel a bit like a circus monkey today because Patti was putting me through lots of extra test to send a report back to my surgeon in Maine, so that when I see him next Thursday, he can make an educated decision about my approved activities!

As for running updates/news

1) I just found out that one of my very good friends is going to be running the Bay State Marathon with Kayla in the fall, with hopes of qualifying for Boston. This fellow runner is keeping their registration and ambitions on the down low, so they shall remain nameless until further notice!

2) I've officially signed up for a 10k in Freeport in the middle of June, and I will tentatively be doing another 5k in Augusta a few weeks after I get home, once the woman emails me back!

3) I'm considering the possibility of moving up the date of my half marathon. There is actually one in Oakland to benefit the Harold Alfond Center for Cancer Care on July 11. It goes around a route that I can easily run on this summer to prepare, but I still haven't decided if I want to sign up or not! Only the first 100 paid registrants receive a t-shirt..and you all know how I feel about tshirts...

As for life in Worcester.. when I left PT, the sun was shining, much different than the horrible humid overcast weather that we woke up to this morning. We now have both fans going in our room, and it is still as humid as ever..I can't wait to see what the fitness center will be like when I run later..