soul searching

This past weekend, I went to visit Kayla Reeves, my partner in crime and initial motivation for running, in her hometown of Shirley, MA. It was surprisingly similar to small town Maine, something I'm well versed in. Our first weekend together since moving out of Dobby was filled with what I like to call "soul searching," something not to be braved without thai food, Vera Bradley, and obnoxiously long stays at Starbucks. This weekend was a lot about thinking about what has changed since college, what choices have been made since then, analyzing why we made certain choices, and how these choices have changed us, as well as what is to come. They say that college changes you, and I can't disagree with that statement, but I believe that it is all in how you acknowledge, embrace, and face the changes that have been brought upon you that reflect true character and maturity. I'll leave it at that for the sake of anonymity and pages of rambling, but it was a much needed self reflection, not unlike the longer runs I've been taking.

Through a stroke of luck, I have secured a spot in the TD Bank Beach to Beacon 10K, which is Maine's largest race in the beginning of August. I've been going on longer runs, in preparation for actually training for B2B, something I deemed worthy of a new running playlist, appropriately titled "Long Haul Running." This playlist is not limited to, but includes "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins, "Trust Me" by the Fray, "On Your Own" by Green River Ordinance and "The Chain" by Ingrid Michaelson. This compilation of songs is much different than my usual frat party beats that I rock out to while running, but I've found that with longer runs, my mind tends to wander beyond the shallow and raunchy suggestive lyrics, requiring a much different selection of songs.

I have yet to complete a long run without blasting Missy Higgins, "Where I Stood" multiple times, where she says it best in the beginning with,

"I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run"

My longer runs, always accompanied by Missing Higgins, are very much like the "soul searching" time spent with Kayla, enjoyably long, but mostly full of reflections, like Missy says, of what has happened, and if I'm happy with the choices I've made recently. I can't say that I'm always happy with what I come to terms with by the end of a run,

but sometimes, it feels like the only thing I can do, is run.